A buttload of teeth-rattling, dumb kaiju action is sure to keep audiences on the edge of their seats; a brisk, silly time will do anyone great wonders for stepping into another fantasy outing with your pals Godzilla and Kong. Three years ago, audiences were treated to the inevitable clash of the titular titans, and now, they get a quad fest of a showdown before friends step in to communicate, “Hey, work together again to demolish more s*** but stop these evil monsters that’ll dismantle the Earth!”
Ah, well, here we go again. Much like any preposterous superhero series (as of recent memory), the latest installment is punctuated with occasional mindless creature battles and garbled action before the story wants to loop together into something of a cohesive product. However, it would be ill-fitting to denounce the craftsmanship and VFX for all these battles in Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire because audiences aren’t here to wallow in some torpid narrative with what the humans have on their minds. No, we want the spectacle and heart-racing moments for how these two will team up to take on the next devilish force.
The story splinters between the two “heroes” and their journeys: Godzilla sleeps in the heart of Rome before waking up and preparing for the next apocalyptic showdown by absorbing a bunch of radiation and turning pink (he wanted to be in that Barbie movie), while Kong is living in Hollow Earth and comes across a younger ape to discover a tribe of more apes, but all are serving an authoritarian leader, Skar King, and his ice-powered titan Shimo. The human characters are led by Dr. Ilene Andrews (Rebecca Hall) and her adopted daughter Jia (Kaylee Hottle), banding with Trapper (Dan Stevens) and Bernie Hayes (Brian Tyree Henry) to discover the hidden elements of Hollow Earth and uncovering the remaining members of the Iwi tribe (who Jia can communicate with). Once Kong gets into battle and cannot defeat Skar King and Shimo on his own, he gets an augmented hand device and returns to the central part of Earth to get Godzilla to join him in his battle.
This is an acceptable product for another MonsterVerse film that wants to play the beats and steamroll action as it sees fit. Unfortunately, it’s too convoluted to keep following as we move along, gasping for the final battle to roar into place. What you have presented here is a redux of the Jurassic Park sequels: some huffs and puffs about another end-of-the-world scheme and some jabs about genetic engineering; who cares for these moments when Warner Brothers (or any other studio) will easily stock up another follow-up in another two to three years? Get to the point, not take 115 minutes to do so. Henry provides blabbering comic relief, while Stevens attempts to pull off a Han Solo-esque role as the swag veterinarian who gets to treat titans. It’s possible director Adam Wingard told them to do something to distract us if we’re not watching Godzilla or Kong’s adventures every five minutes, so your mileage on being entertained may vary.
You see, the point is that this is a motion picture designed to pull you out of reality for two hours. So, please continue if you can weather the chaotic CGI-infested battles and disregard the apathy towards our human characters. If not, you’re settling in for another soulless extravaganza where good writing and emotion become more tangled along the lines of footnotes. Yours indeed misses the times a decade ago when we thought Bryan Cranston could give it a shot and make a Godzilla movie have some weight behind it (the 2014 film might still be the best MonsterVerse film to this day); these days, you’re grasping for someone to take the reins, and no one seems to understand where to steer with Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire.
