Oh, bother. Oh, bother, indeed. The Worst Film of Year race may have ended early.
The short answer is that this independent slasher film “slashes” author A.A. Milne’s beloved children’s characters into lackadaisical, rampaging murderers. The long answer is its central gimmick became another rickety float in a parade of low-budget horror schemes that try to get hopes up but can’t deliver. Sounds eerily reminiscent of Disney’s obstinate intentions of rebooting every classic animated tale under their belt into a live-action adaptation and solidifying their future to become more reliant on the Marvel, Avatar, and Star Wars IPs.
Blood and Honey is a failure across every board, from its writing to performances to cinematography to editing, and it only gets some benefit from gnarly kills every ten minutes. It feels insultingly amateurish, distorting its pacing with displeasing camerawork and lack of tension when each kill inevitably comes around. The story starts with a whimsical animated prologue explaining that Christopher Robin discovered the magical creatures in the forest. Still, once he left for college, the animals killed one of their own (aka Eeyore) and reverted to their original marauding beasts form. Pooh and Piglet emerge as murderous individuals, refusing to speak while slaughtering anyone who wanders into their land. So, when Christopher returns, it’s no happy homecoming, nor is it for a group of five ladies that take a break at a local vacation house.
Vicious kills, including the cracked skulls, are admirable, but outside of that, it’s a pain witnessing the remainder of the feature’s lack of continuity and equanimity. The character designs for the titular brutal pair are also lacking, as they stand around like freaks in masks from the local thrift store. Michael Myers could’ve taken their place, and it wouldn’t have made the slightest difference. Director Rhys Frake-Waterfield also coincidentally relieves audiences of all tension and thrills, as nothing builds correctly in this jarring fiasco. It’s a toss-and-turn of kills whenever the action calls it, and not enough depth is given toward the cast to outlive these creatures.
For an immediate plan for any sequel, or future rated-R children-turned-horror shows, they should be considered being shelved for the time being. This call to action is offensively asinine. At the end of the day, the only true success of Blood and Honey is that Disney did not produce it; other than that, this reboot belongs at the bottom of a hundred-acre wasteland, begging one to feel some level of regret for those that spent the time making it.
